Attack of the Giant Zucchini

It's zucchini season! That time of year when renegade squashes appear in mailboxes, on the seats of unlocked cars, and upon doorsteps in the dead of night. Those of you who have ever been blessed with a bumper crop of burgeoning blooms, and the overnight wonders that accompany them, will be shocked to hear that I actually paid money for a giant zucchini this week.  At a roadside stand in the San Joaquin Delta, no  less - where they sell peaches and other ripe fruit.

Cats and zucchini - natural enemies.

But I spotted this humongous squash, as big as my forearm and twice as heavy, and all the other produce faded into the background. That's a lot of loaves of gluten-free chocolate zucchini bread, I thought to myself. Self, I said, how much could it possibly cost? One dollar.  I thought about buying two or three, but there's only so much room in my freezer. And besides, you never know when one might show up on my doorstep.